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A Rant.....? A Rave....?
Sep. 5th, 2005 11:12 am...ah, I guess I cannot use those terms because ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
slashtacular and thevortex have already got copyrights on those terms ;-) Should I say....a vent?...or a venting?
Anyway, when sister M was here, she wanted to get this book called "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Guide to Understanding Guys", so I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. It was a bit pricey, but it was defenitely worth it! This book takes a wide variety of excuses or reasons that women often make to excuse a man's behavior, and basically shoots each one down. I really like it because it doesn't sugar coat explainations and tells it like it is! Basically, "if he does this, it's obvious that he's not interested in you. Get over it." For example, if a guy doesn't call you and later on says he's been "busy"...that's BS!! (NOT Brenda Salem!)...because if he really liked you, it wouldn't matter how busy he was, he'd want to get in contact with you. Or even if he lost your number, if he liked you enough, he'd go to great lengths to find it (of course, there's the issue of him no longer trying to impress you once you've been together a while, but that's another story...).
Another example, it says that if he doesn't call you...don't try to call him because men like to be the persuers and if he is truly interested in you, he'll call. If you try to persue him and he's not interested in you, he'll just end up giving you the run-around. The argument is brought up that, that kind of attitude seems very antiquated and that if women are supposed to passively "wait" for someone to ask us out, we might as well be living in the 1800's, but the point was brought up that it shouldn't be a matter of "waiting", that it's a matter of having something called a life and being preoccupied with stuff other than finding a man.
I can even speak from experience. In the past, I've tried to be the "persuer", not wanting to let a chance slip away and in the end, I would get nowhere and end up looking like a fool. I've defenitely learned my lesson. I don't find anything wrong in "giving hints" to the guy but in the end, if he's truly interested, he'll have to be the one to make a move. There is also the issue of guys who are particularly shy about making a move and for a girl, that can be frustrating, leaving her to wonder if he is truly interested or not or if she should make a move. Looking back on my experiences, I would advise a girl this: If the guy doesn't seem like he would be too shy to ask you out, and still hasn't, he's probably not interested in you that way. I know that perhaps for some of you, these are very obvious and common-sense "lessons", but for me, some of the "lessons" in this book are ones that I have yet to affirm and put into practice.
I think it's a book that every woman can relate to and should read. The basic message of this book is that we women should not settle for "second best" and that we shouldn't let ourselves get strung along by men who truly don't care for us.
Feel free to comment on this ;-)
slashtacular and thevortex have already got copyrights on those terms ;-) Should I say....a vent?...or a venting? Anyway, when sister M was here, she wanted to get this book called "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Guide to Understanding Guys", so I went to Barnes and Noble and bought it. It was a bit pricey, but it was defenitely worth it! This book takes a wide variety of excuses or reasons that women often make to excuse a man's behavior, and basically shoots each one down. I really like it because it doesn't sugar coat explainations and tells it like it is! Basically, "if he does this, it's obvious that he's not interested in you. Get over it." For example, if a guy doesn't call you and later on says he's been "busy"...that's BS!! (NOT Brenda Salem!)...because if he really liked you, it wouldn't matter how busy he was, he'd want to get in contact with you. Or even if he lost your number, if he liked you enough, he'd go to great lengths to find it (of course, there's the issue of him no longer trying to impress you once you've been together a while, but that's another story...).
Another example, it says that if he doesn't call you...don't try to call him because men like to be the persuers and if he is truly interested in you, he'll call. If you try to persue him and he's not interested in you, he'll just end up giving you the run-around. The argument is brought up that, that kind of attitude seems very antiquated and that if women are supposed to passively "wait" for someone to ask us out, we might as well be living in the 1800's, but the point was brought up that it shouldn't be a matter of "waiting", that it's a matter of having something called a life and being preoccupied with stuff other than finding a man.
I can even speak from experience. In the past, I've tried to be the "persuer", not wanting to let a chance slip away and in the end, I would get nowhere and end up looking like a fool. I've defenitely learned my lesson. I don't find anything wrong in "giving hints" to the guy but in the end, if he's truly interested, he'll have to be the one to make a move. There is also the issue of guys who are particularly shy about making a move and for a girl, that can be frustrating, leaving her to wonder if he is truly interested or not or if she should make a move. Looking back on my experiences, I would advise a girl this: If the guy doesn't seem like he would be too shy to ask you out, and still hasn't, he's probably not interested in you that way. I know that perhaps for some of you, these are very obvious and common-sense "lessons", but for me, some of the "lessons" in this book are ones that I have yet to affirm and put into practice.
I think it's a book that every woman can relate to and should read. The basic message of this book is that we women should not settle for "second best" and that we shouldn't let ourselves get strung along by men who truly don't care for us.
Feel free to comment on this ;-)
